I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
