Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
