Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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