Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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