the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
