There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize