I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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