pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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