that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
