By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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