this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
