woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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