i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
