So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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