pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
