You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
