FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I've blown a few things in my day
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize