she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
