Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize