Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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