I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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