i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize