Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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