you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
