I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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