wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
