Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
