I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
