Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
