Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
