Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
