she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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