I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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