Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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