I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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