By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize