That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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