these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
