We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
