Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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