A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
