Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My balls are so social today.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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