He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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