the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Girls should come with a carfax report
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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