I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
