It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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