The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
