I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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