i need an iv and a liver transplant
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
