No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
