you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
