9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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