I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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