Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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