i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
