well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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