doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
