i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
