I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
