I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize