He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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