so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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