All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
