I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
